We got paid on the 25 June and I have just finished paying all bills for the end of June and the debt balances are:

Start Debt:
7/12/06: $236 978
5/29/07: $29 150 + $55 600 = $84750
6/27/07: $26 859 + $32 894 = $59853

Car Loan: $11073 Now $ 6748
CC2: $ 13716 Now $ 6832
CC3: $ 15918 Now 13279
Tax Liability: $55600 Now $32 894

Reduced by $2611 since 5/30/07

I am battling with the Tax Liability - I just don't know how I am going to get enough money together to pay this by the 28 Feb 2008.

Every time I look at what I need to save to pay this, I go straight into "overwhelm" - I think it is a good thing that I only look at the totals once a month and not everyday.

This month I have drawn cash (only $300) to carry us through until next pay day - a real challenge on it's own.

Thank goodness my employer pays for my gas (I commute about 60 miles per day) otherwise it would be even tougher.

I really make a concerted effort to focus on what we have and how Blessed we are - it is the only way to keep things in perspective.

BTW It snowed in Johannesburg last night - the first time in 25 years!!!!! Hmm wonder if this Global warming is starting to really impact us.

The funny side though - South Africans have no clue what to do in the snow - we have never had to clear snow off cars, drive on iced roads and snow tires - what are those????

Even the airplanes are not equipped to deal with de-icing - all our flights were delayed 2 - 3 hours this morning.

Have managed to get my $20 Challenge account up to $338 by adding change and getting paid for sewing. Am so tempted to add this to a debt payment but then I remind myself that I may need a washer soon - so the money is lying in a separate wallet in my drawer.

Well back to work...

Have a good day

to make up for the lack of entries the last couple of days.

Got quite a lot of sewing done this weekend:
Finished my sweatpants: saved $15
Finished DD's sweatpants: saved $7
Altered DD's school slacks: no savings
Total Saved: $22 (to come off sewing machine cost).

Had another 3 no spend days: Total for June = 9 Goal is 20 (Hmmm don't know if I will manage this but will keep going)

Decided to pay something more towards my CC debt - need to feel like I am making progress towards debt reduction:
Car Loan: $11073 Now $ 7103
CC2: $ 13716 5/30/07: $ 8608 Now $7294
CC3: $ 15918 Now 13439
Tax Liability: $55 600 Now $33314 6/15/2007: Paid an extra $420 = $32894
TOTAL DEBT: Start 4/1/2006: $236 978 Now: $60730

This is so exciting, I just know that I am going to be able to achieve my debt free status.

$20 Challenge: Added lose change from wallet and bottle = $17.61
New Total: $301.56
Yeah - reached the $300 dollar mark.
New goal - $400 by 31 July 2007.

Sewing Machine cost: Start: $3425
6/10/2007: $3236.29
6/18/2007: less $22 = $3214.29

Holiday Fund:
DD added her allowance and I got an unexpected refund of 28.57 so our new total is: $185.71

Making progress mid-month is great - I only get paid monthly so this is an extra bonus.

Cooked all the chicken that I bought on special tonight and will use it to make:
Chicken pies
Chicken al la king
Chicken lasagna
and then freeze it in portions so that we have home pre-cooked, convenience meals.

Am really tired at the moment, think it is the short winter days and wanting to hibernate in the cold.

Well I am off to bed now after a long hot bath

Speak to you tomorrow...

is the only way I am going to get on top of this latest challenge.

Have had some time now to think about my plan of action and my thoughts so far are:

The funds in EMF - I am going to allocate $8000 to the tax liability.

I got a final payment on the sale of my house the other day from the bank of $ 14 286

So already I have $22 286 towards the $55 600

There are other amounts outstanding still from my house sale:
The closing attorneys still owe me $5714
The utilities company owe me a refund of $1158
Total outstanding $6872

Company expenses refund $347

NOW if I add $22286 plus $7219 = $29505 I would have been debt free without this additional tax liability - HOW DISAPPOINTING!!!!!!!!!

Oh well, as I said one day at a time.

I needed to go to the store today and only had $15.70 in my wallet (remember I took the ATM cards out and don't have CC)
Bought laundry detergent, bread, tuna, gum = $12.84 (bought large sizes and bread for the week to freeze).

Ha got that spot on and I still have a couple of dollars in my purse.

Okay so not a No Spend Day but great economy.

BTW I have managed 7 out 10 No Spend Days and will get tomorrow down as a no spend day too. 8/10 not too bad.

I have a huge headache today (not really surprised) and fortunately have finished my client calls for the day so I am going to have a nap before I fetch my DD and start supper.

Need to get into my sewing room tonight - when I am feeling so stressed and pressured (one of my triggers to gamble) I have to be especially careful. Sewing and getting busy making something out of nothing, helps me to reduce my stress and makes me feel like I have accomplished something.

Also, this weekend I need to rework our monthly budget and look for ways to cut our expenses again so that I can increase the savings amount to the Tax Fund. Don't really know how much more I can cut but will try anyway OR time to start taking in mending, sewing etc again to boost the income.

Wow another long long entry - but it helps so

Enjoy your day and see ya tomorrow

except with tears of frustration and embarrassment.

I went to the auditors today, to drop off those documents to complete the audit for my company and found out that I have an outstanding amount due to our Tax Dept (equivalent to your IRS) of approximately $55 600 .

The reason - I was so busy feeding my gambling addiction that I neglected the real things in life like paying taxes in 2005.

Some of you at this point are wondering how on earth a person gets to this stage in the first place and secondly, how can a person even admit it publicly?

Well, as with any addiction, the first step you take is that you admit that you are powerless over the activity - so when I was in the height my compulsive gambling, money had no true meaning and value other than how long I could gamble for.

The public part - well, I found this journal extremely therapeutic and supportive in my journey to recover that not mentioning this update would only be lying to ME. Again, part of the recovery process, is complete and utter honesty at all times because when you are in the throes of the addiction, dishonesty, lying and deceitfulness are all part of the behaviour i.e. where you have been, what the money was used for, why you need to borrow more etc. etc. etc.

So here I am with another debt but this too shall be tackled and it too shall be dealt with one day at a time.

Grace and Blessings got me this far so they will keep me going.

I have a grace period before I have to start paying off the taxes which fortunately will give the time I need to earn commission.

I am so Blessed that I have a Sales Position that enables me to earn the kind of money I am going to need. I have to get it together by May 2008. I can't pay it off in small amounts - I have to save it and then make the full payment by the 31 May 2008.

So there will be a new category in my Control Panel called: Tax Liability which will in effect be a savings account to settle the $55 600. (OMG I am so overwhelmed at this stage and fighting to keep the tears at bay - what the hell was I thinking or rather NOT thinking).

I think I will now sleep on this and then tomorrow I'll get busy putting together a plan and strategy to get the money together.

Have just finished paying all bills for the end of May and the debt balances are:

Start Debt: 7/12/06 Today: 5/26/2007
Home Remodeling: $345 PAID
CC1: $715 PAID
Timeshare Levy: $730 PAID AND SOLD
Bank Overdraft: $929 PAID
Loan from Dad: $857 PAID
Swimming Pool Renovation: $1429 PAID
Private School Fees for 2007: $3000 PAID IN FULL
Car Loan: $11073 Now $ 7103 (Miscalculated last time)
Bank Overdraft 2: $7000 PAID
CC2: $ 13716 Now $ 8603
CC3: $ 15918 Now 13439
HEL & Mortgage: $171 429 PAID AND SOLD

TOTAL DEBT: $236 978 Now: $29150

Paid $207 828

Geez at this rate of $1109 per month reduction in debt I still have another 26 months to go.

No way - this is way too slow. I have to find other ways to increase my debt payments.

I miscalculated the outstanding amount on my car so that is higher than the last report.

Also called to check all the interest rates on my outstanding loans and here it is:
Car Loan 12.8%
CC2: 19%
CC3: 20%

So I changed my priorities and paid extra into CC3 - no way are they going to get more money. I know this is not Dave Ramsey's way but when I saw just how much the interest was I was horrified.

$20 Challenge Account:
Added $16.86 to it = $171.85. I got this extra from a return today and emptied the change into my challenge wallet. I think I am going to need a new Washing Machine soon so this will go towards that.

DD and I have started a savings account for our holiday in October 2007. I just checked to see how we were doing: $146 and we need: $985. We have saved this in the past 6 weeks by putting her allowance in there and everytime we DON'T do take out/fast food we contribute. Oh and if I can make a gift we add another $7 instead of buying a gift.

One step at a time and no short cuts. I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't get into this mess overnight and I am not going to get out of it overnight.

I have to earn commission ++++++

Will check in again tomorrow.

Oh BTW - didn't manage a no spend day today - spent $40 on a new electric blanket for DD, a hot water bottle, hair gel, sodas.

Why does time go so fast - it seems just the other day that I unretired my blog and now it is already a week later.

Okay here are my debt balances:
Start Debt: 7/12/06 Today: 5/16/2007
Home Remodeling: $345 PAID
CC1: $715 PAID
Timeshare Levy: $730 PAID AND SOLD
Bank Overdraft: $929 PAID
Loan from Dad: $857 PAID
Swimming Pool Renovation: $1429 PAID
Private School Fees for 2007: $3000 PAID IN FULL
Car Loan: $11073 Now $ 6997
Bank Overdraft 2: $7000 PAID
CC2: $ 13716 Now $ 9203
CC3: $ 15918 Now 14 059
HEL & Mortgage: $171 429 PAID AND SOLD

TOTAL DEBT: $236 978 Now: $30 259

Paid $206 719

Hahahahaha - Can you believe it :0

I can't!!!!

But here is the downside - I no longer own a property so don't have a property which is appreciating in value.

I have decided ala Dave Ramsey that I am going to finish paying off my debt and then save like crazy so that I can either pay cash for a new home (don't want a big house again, an apartment is fine by me) or put 50% down and get a mortgage for the balance.

My EMF is established - I kept some of the money from the house and have $9425 saved.

Also, bought a new sewing machine - just decided that we have made so many sacrifices to get this far that I could treat myself. (I know a good excuse )
Spent $ 3425 for a new machine and embroidery unit.

When I buy a sewing machine, I keep a log of everything that I make and the savings and make sure that the machine pays for itself. My old machine paid for itself 3.2 times.

Have already saved $68 by making curtains, altering clothes for DD and making a new bathroom set.

Will keep a log here and show how it works.

BTW my banking accounts actually have a credit balance for the first time since I don't know when - $142 in Acc 1 and $214 in Acc 2.

Am really enjoying my life again - it is so nice not to have worry about maintaining a huge property, pay an enormous mortgage and all the taxes that go with it.

Have also managed to buy DD new school uniforms, replace school bags and new sports uniforms.

The way I figure it now, is that we can now get back to being really frugal and get rid of the last debt and then go crazy with our savings account.

The $20 Challenge - will make this a real account now and save leftover amounts from our monthly budget and any refunds etc.

Working full time now and back in corporate life has its own challenges and has demanded more adjustments. At least I earn a regular salary now and have a high earning potential through commission. My business expenses are covered which is also great incl cell phone, internet connection, gas for car and a contribution for car servicing.

I am a happy happy camper - I love my life and am really pleased that we made all the changes.

Will end off now - have really had a long ramble...

Wow I can't believe it is so long since my last entry but so much has happened and there have been many many changes.

I finally decided to:

1. Sell my house
2. Close my business and get a full time position
3. Let my housekeeper go and put my DD into aftercare at school
4. Find a rental in the area so that we can become debt free and save save
5. Set a goal to live on $1720 per month

So far I have managed to:
1. Sell my house - just waiting for the final closing
2. Business: handed in the final books & documents for audit
- started a full time position since the 15 January
(so now I have a regular income - whoopee)
3. Found my housekeeper new employment and moved her to her new employer
- DD into aftercare and thank goodness she is loving it. She says that at least she has playmates everyday after school
4. Found the rental and move on the 17 March - rental only $585 versus the $1715 mortgage payment I have had to make
5. The monthly budget - this will really kick in when I get paid out for my house and I can settle debts but in the meantime, I have reduced my monthly costs considerably.

Look forward to hearing from everyone.

It is great to be back

I said I would update my debt balances today so here goes:

Start Debt 7/12/06: Now 9/4/06
Home Remodeling: $345 PAID
CC1: $715 : Now $692
Timeshare Levy: $730; PAID
Bank Overdraft: $929; $920
Loan from Dad: $857: Now $541
Swimming Pool Renovation: $1429; Now $1429
Private School Fees: $1219; Now $680
Car Loan: $11073; Now $10 190
Bank Overdraft 2: $7000; Now $6786
CC2: $13716; Now $13007
CC3: $15918; Now $15 497
HEL & Mortgage: $171 429 Now: $170 143

TOTAL DEBT: $225 360; Now $219 885

Paid: $5 475 since the 12 July 2006

A small reduction since the 4 Sept BUT I am still waiting for business expenses to be reimbursed - which is $940 and which will be used to reduce CC1 again. I had to use it to pay for groceries because I have been out of pocket for my expenses.

ACHIEVED ANOTHER MILESTONE:
Went to the theatre last night (it was my treat) but had forgotten that the theatre was at the Casino Complex I used to frequent.

Said many prayers before I left home BUT still went although I was quite nervous. At the end of the performance I just kept walking with my friends to my car and didn't even look into the casino area. I was so tempted for a minutes BUT somehow I DID IT!!!!!!

This is the first time in about 6 years that I have been there and haven't gambled - I am so excited and grateful - this is a huge milestone for me BUT I also know that I can't let my guard down.

$20 Challenge: DD had another Birthday party to go to today - so I got her to do a picture for the Greeting Card and printed off a homemade card as well = $1.50 saved.

Spent today:
1. DD Friend birthday present $8.50
2. Battery for step counter $2.84
3. Store: $3.86
4. DD got tuck money today $2 plus Cake & Candy sale $1
5. DD Allowance $3

WEIGHTLOSS PROGRESS:
Weighed in yesterday morning - lost 3lbs whoopee - think it is all the water - I feel like everytime I look it is time for another glass of water.
Think DD has also lost a couple of lbs - she is about 8lbs over for her height and I have just made her eat what I am eating without making an issue of it. Told DD that for the next 8 weeks we and going to be SUPER healthy and she thinks it is great.

DB 2:
Was admitted to hospital 2 days ago for treatment...
He has been sedated to halt the manic phase he has been in for the past 4 weeks and sounds very drugged BUT at least he is off the streets and getting medical care.

TO DO LIST FOR SEPTEMBER:
1. Making progress here but am still busy trying to finish those 15 chefs jackets.
2. Have planted seeds for the vegie garden and they have starting shooting so soon we will be able to transplant them.
3. 9 No Spend Days - goal 15
4. Library Books returned but still paid $3 fine for being late *sigh* - why can't I get this right.
5. Weightloss -lost 3lbs Goal - 10 lbs
6. Spending log updated everyday

BTW - achieved 221 days of No Gambling today

See you tomorrow

Still waiting for my business expenses to be reimbursed but in the meantime I needed to see where I am with my debt balances:


Start Debt 7/12/06: Now 9/4/06
Home Remodeling: $345 PAID
CC1: $715 : Now $564
Timeshare Levy: $730; PAID
Bank Overdraft: $929; $789
Loan from Dad: $857: Now $643
Swimming Pool Renovation: $1429; Now $1429
Private School Fees: $1219; Now $899
Car Loan: $11073; Now $10 190
Bank Overdraft 2: $7000; Now $6786
CC2: $13716; Now $13100
CC3: $15918; Now $15 497
HEL & Mortgage: $171 429 Now: $170 143

TOTAL DEBT: $225 360; Now $220 040

Paid: $5 320 since the 12 July 2006

Hmmm... patience is NOT my middle name but I give Thanks that progress has been made.

While making up my Goals for September & paging back through my diary I found debt balances from the 1 April 2006.

Check this out:
DEBT BALANCES ON 1 APRIL 2006 VERSUS 23 AUGUST 2006:

Home Remodeling: $345 / PAID
CC1: $715 / $ 714
Timeshare Levy: $746 / PAID
Bank Overdraft: $943 / $754
Loan from Dad: $1714 / $643
Swimming Pool Renovation: $1429 / $1429
Private School Fees: $1900 / $899
Car Loan: $12080 / $10478
Bank Overdraft 2: $11689 / $6857
CC2: $15652 / $13100
CC3: $18336 / $15714
HEL: $57143/ $56643
First Mortgage: $114286/$113714
TOTAL DEBT: $236 978 / $220 945

Paid: $16 033 since the 1 April 2006

*disbelief*
I would never have thought that this was possible and looking back I really don’t know how it was done???????

Wait – Prayer & Blessings have a lot to do with this outcome

Whoopee the money from the timeshare came through - I can't believe it so I have paid some more towards my debt:


Starting Debt on the 12 July 2006:
Home Remodeling: $345 PAID
CC1: $715 : Now $714
Timeshare Levy: $730; PAID
Bank Overdraft: $929; $754
Loan from Dad: $857: Now $643
Swimming Pool Renovation: $1429; Now $1429
Private School Fees: $1219; Now $899
Car Loan: $11073; Now $10 478
Bank Overdraft 2: $7000; Now $6857
CC2: $13716; Now $13100
CC3: $15918; Now $15714
HEL: $57143; $56 643
First Mortgage: $114286; Now $113714

TOTAL DEBT: $225360; Now $220 945

Paid: $4 415 since the 12 July 2006

Decided to track the total amount I have paid off - think it will be more motivating that way but I am going keep a running tally under my bio.

Jeez this is going to take ages

But every step of progress needs to be celebrated I guess.

I am really feeling depressed at the moment don't know if I am going to make sales target so I had to keep some of the timeshare proceeds back for month end expenses.

I so badly wanted to make a huge dent in my debt ...

Spoke to the buyer of my timeshare today and I should be getting paid for it tomorrow

First thing to do:
1. Get current with CC2
2. Save my mini EMF
3. Renegotiate a lower rate with CC2

Then I think I will let it sink in that I have some extra money to put against debt and see if I make bonus at the end of the month. If I don't I will need to use some of the money towards daily expenses.

Either way, what a relief

Met with the CEO of my client today and he wanted to see if I would be interested in negotiating towards the end of August. Told him it would depend on whether the Managing Director had left or not - that was the most important issue. Then of course, secondly what they were offering.

In the meantime, I have to stay focused on working towards my sales target - don't want to get sidetracked on something that may never happen.

Feeling better today - just the leftover headache from my migraine. Think an early night should sort that out.

Roll on tomorrow...

I decided that I would update my debt balances twice a month so here goes:

Type of Debt: Starting Debt: Now 14 August 2006

Starting Debt on the 12 July 2006:
Home Remodeling: $345 PAID
CC1: $715 : Now $642
Timeshare Levy: $730; Now $244
Bank Overdraft: $929; $874
Loan from Dad: $857: Now $643
Swimming Pool Renovation: $1429; Now $1429
Private School Fees: $1219; Now $899
Car Loan: $11073; Now $10 478
Bank Overdraft 2: $7000; Now $6857
CC2: $13716; Now $13624
CC3: $15918; Now $15714
HEL: $57143; $56 643
First Mortgage: $114286; Now $113714

TOTAL DEBT: $225360; Now $ 221 761

Paid: $3 869

Oh wow, I can't believe it - just goes to show how careful daily spending and frugality does make a difference.

I can't wait for the end of the month (I get paid monthly) when I pay off some more.

Now just to get my timeshare sale finalised ie waiting for payment and earn my bonus.

Hmmm - feeling like I have made some progress