this is a never ending cycle at the moment - our major power supplier is unable to supply our country's needs at the moment and everyday they are "load shedding". IOW - cutting our power for 2 - 3 hours everyday.

Oh the joys of Africa. Our new government (from '94) decided in their wisdom we didn't need more power stations but they agreed to a growth forecast of 8%. Spot the mistake plus all the foreign investment that came in after we came out of the apartheid era.

It is sooooooo (*&^$ frustrating - this morning I woke to the 14th hour of no power and started stressing big time about the food in the freezer. Called the supplier and was told "no it is not load shedding but there is a problem with the sub-station in your suburb". If someone had offered me a one way ticket out of here I would have taken it there and then.

Very very bad frame of mind - haven't been able to use my computer which is the reason for lack of entries.

Interesting though, the higher my stress level the greater incidence of urges to go to the casino. No don't worry I haven't given in and I won't but I have to remember "one day at a time"

Today I was out to see a client (near a casino) but I prepared by taking my money out of my wallet and only took $5 in case. After my appointment I got into my car and was nearly home when I realised that I hadn't even thought about taking a detour. Yeah, this is great progress for me.

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On the income side, still pushing and working hard. We are so broke but my aunt gave me money for gas and we have food (as long as the power keeps it frozen!) so I can still work.



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With the power outages and the threat of our food being spoiled, I was thinking about the wisdom of buying in bulk. I think I am going to deplete our supplies and go back to shopping every second or third day until this is sorted out.

If all our food has been spoiled I really don't know what we would have done but if I was buying as we needed it wouldn't be so bad and I would still have money.

What do you think?

Okay back to work while we have power...

See you tomorrow... well... maybe...

selling and setting up appointments with my previous clients.

Oh it is so great to be out of the corporate environment. I think I am unemployable and that the constrained, defined work environment just shuts me down completely.

I am getting appointments with Senior Executives who I haven't seen for over 18 mths and just celebrating everytime I get one confirmed.

I think I have been Blessed yet again to get this opportunity because it just feels so right (but comm only sales is not for everyone). Sales is such a strange profession - today I am up and next week there could be a down day but I love it and don't know what possessed me to take the job I had previously.

I have told a couple of DD's friends mothers what I am doing and I can see they think I am completely mad - you know lost the cart wheels and playing space cadets.

One of them actually asked how do you sell when you are under pressure financially?

My answer, "well, the secret is to always focus completely on the client and only let them buy if the solution is right for them. That way if you don't get the deal, you have still given value by making recommendations. The next time you see them they know they can trust you and it builds long long term relationships." These are the relationships that I am tapping into at the moment.

Oh and I forgot to add, because the client trusts you and you have given advice (free of charge) they are then willing to link you into other potential clients who may be ready or need the solution that I am selling. So I actually win on both sides.

The client also gives referrals along the way and is the first to give you a call when he really does have a need for my solution.



On the financial side - we are just taking one day at a time but with my appointments scheduled I can see that I will start earning commission pretty soon. I may have to ask my aunt for a temporary loan just to get through Feb but it will be very temporary.

Too excited to think about the gambling challenge at the moment, in fact, I am finding the more I concentrate on work the fewer the urges. The past few days I haven't thought about it at all (except to keep a log of my gambling free days )

Spent $7.86 on meds today for DD - she is on a very low dosage of anti-histamines which controls her asthma and stops the ear infections from mucous buildup.

Spent some time sewing this evening - I just needed down time after such a "up day" otherwise I would never have stopped working.

Made supper tonight using pre-cooked meals from our freezer - my cooking in bulk serves it purpose when I don't feel like cooking.

Well I am off to bed now

See you tomorrow...

managed to get quite a lot of things done:

- shopping DONE
- finish sewing book bags for the Grade 0 children (I was paid for them last year and have a few more to do)NOT DONE
- laundry DONE
- ironing WASHING HUNG BUT NOT DRY
- label and cover books for school for DD DONE
- Goals for next week i.e. sales activities DONE
- clean apartment NOT DONE
- baking - muffins, cookies, DONE
- cooking - chicken pies & casserole NOT DONE - forgot to take the chicken out the freezer Duh???

* Just very tired tonight - think it is the stress of worrying/thinking about month end and our finances. Amazing how this just drains ones energy levels.

* Had a no-spend day - didn't even use the car
* Got DD to tidy her room again - she is so untidy and all I seem to do is nag. Help - any ideas???

Being so busy making ends meet I find that I am not even thinking about gambling which is wonderful and just shows how much progress I have made. In the past I would have headed out to the casino with whatever money I could find and try to "win some quick cash". Even as I am writing this, my reaction is "oh how stupid can you be - use what you've got wisely". OH the lessons we learn...

When my mom passed away 4 years ago, I inherited a whole lot of original oil paintings and her silver tea set. I love the paintings but hate the silver tea set. So I spoke to my brother yesterday and asked him if he wanted it - he doesn't. Then asked if he would mind if I sell it - he said "I think that is a good idea, at least it will help you financially."

So today I spent some time researching the maker - it was made in the UK and has all kinds of original markings and dates. Seems like it is quite rare so I linked into Sotheby's (the auctioneers) and sent them an email and asking for advice. Let's see what they say. I am hoping they will be able to help me sell it as it could be worth in excess of $2000.

I have such mixed feeling about this - I feel guilty selling something that my Mom really loved but I just don't like it and no-one else in the family wants it. Maybe someone will get pleasure from it which is better than it lying in the top of the cuphoard.

Well I am going to read some of the other journals and then off to bed (we are 9 hours ahead of you so it is 9.30pm here versus your 12.30pm East Coast).

See you tomorrow...

this morning I was feeling so positive and now I have gone into overwhelm

Am still receiving calls from CC and Car Finance companies, they just don't get it - I called them all again today and told them AGAIN what my situation is and all I get is "we are expecting $$$ payment on the 20 Jan..."

Dave Ramsey refers to these people as scum and now that I seem to be dealing with them regularly, I must say I tend to agree with him.

I am so frustrated with my financial situation at the moment: I have $64 left in my wallet until I earn commission and I need gas, food and a few other things.

By the Grace of God, I am thankful that we have never had to go without our basic needs being satisfied. We always have food, gas and a place to live and the rest... well just a luxury.

I have been listening to Anthony Robins "personal power" CD's and today the thing that stuck was "when the pain is big enough you will take action" or when you get to "I have had it - no more".

This is where I am - I have had it with my debt (and the gambling)!!!

Goal 2 for 2008:
I am completely debt free by 30 June 2008 - and I don't care how hard I have to work to get it done. How:- Be thankful for the gifts and talents I have - I believe that if we are not thankful nothing works. Set daily goals and prioritise the top 5 activities which will have the greatest impact on my goal - I am not going to allow myself to go to bed until they are done for the day. Every day I will be organised and spend 10 minutes tidying up so that my home is neat
Keep a log of my frugal efforts to get to debt freedom (right here!)
Use my blog to track my daily efforts and progress towards debt freedom

Getting back to work is proving a challenge as well - guess it is because I have been off work for so long.

Managed to achieve only 3 solid hours of concentration and then my brain wouldn't co-operate. I kept getting distracted and ended up just wasting time. Well tomorrow is another day...

Also decided that having no money is no excuse for not having an EMF so tomorrow I am going to take some stuff to the second hand shop and see what I can get for it. Everytime I see someone adding $1 to their challenge/savings totals I think to myself "but I can do that!" and so NOW I am going to do it.

Wish me luck...

after disappearing since August last year but it is one of my New Year resolutions to start blogging again here every day.
Had an okay 2007 but fell off the wagon and went on a gambling binge in Sept - I think I just became overconfident and not vigilant enough. Through faith and prayer, I decided that I could either give up or start again - so here I am.
Financially though I am paying the price (again - sigh!!), I lost my savings and am now behind in CC payments and car payments. Will I ever learn????????
Even with everything going on though, I have managed to reduce my debt and will update the amounts later.
So much has changed since Sept - my job just didn't work out and I resigned at the end of November (think being unhappy at work was one of my triggers) and am now selling for a friend of my mine on commission only. We sell Negotiation training programs and although the commission only is a bit hairy at the moment, I can earn what I need to AND get the flexibility to be around for DD.
Working in an office with a commute of 60 miles a day resulted in a high level of stress, tiredness and irritability (again some of my triggers) and DD really battled with me not being around as much.
I will be working from home but have decided to leave DD in aftercare so that I can work a full day but fetch her earlier than 5:30pm.
Oh it is so good to be back again and talking to like minded friends (except the gambling part ) - I didn't realise how much I had missed it till now.
Okay well I have some chores to finish and will be back later to give you some more updates.
Speak to you later...