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Another day like yesterday...just more challenging...

May 29th, 2007 at 01:47 pm

except with tears of frustration and embarrassment.

I went to the auditors today, to drop off those documents to complete the audit for my company and found out that I have an outstanding amount due to our Tax Dept (equivalent to your IRS) of approximately $55 600 Frown Frown.

The reason - I was so busy feeding my gambling addiction that I neglected the real things in life like paying taxes in 2005.

Some of you at this point are wondering how on earth a person gets to this stage in the first place and secondly, how can a person even admit it publicly?

Well, as with any addiction, the first step you take is that you admit that you are powerless over the activity - so when I was in the height my compulsive gambling, money had no true meaning and value other than how long I could gamble for.

The public part - well, I found this journal extremely therapeutic and supportive in my journey to recover that not mentioning this update would only be lying to ME. Again, part of the recovery process, is complete and utter honesty at all times because when you are in the throes of the addiction, dishonesty, lying and deceitfulness are all part of the behaviour i.e. where you have been, what the money was used for, why you need to borrow more etc. etc. etc.

So here I am with another debt but this too shall be tackled and it too shall be dealt with one day at a time.

Grace and Blessings got me this far so they will keep me going.

I have a grace period before I have to start paying off the taxes which fortunately will give the time I need to earn commission.

I am so Blessed that I have a Sales Position that enables me to earn the kind of money I am going to need. I have to get it together by May 2008. I can't pay it off in small amounts - I have to save it and then make the full payment by the 31 May 2008.

So there will be a new category in my Control Panel called: Tax Liability which will in effect be a savings account to settle the $55 600. (OMG I am so overwhelmed at this stage and fighting to keep the tears at bay - what the hell was I thinking or rather NOT thinking).

I think I will now sleep on this and then tomorrow I'll get busy putting together a plan and strategy to get the money together.








5 Responses to “Another day like yesterday...just more challenging...”

  1. tklahn Says:

    I can imagine you would be overwhelmed! Can't even imagine. Nothing I can do but pray for you . . .

  2. ktmarvels Says:

    Sounds like you do what I do... Have a mini freak out where you admit that you are overwhelmed. Then I usually realize that freaking out isn't going to help anything so I snap out of it, plan for small goals and get to work! Smile Good Luck!

  3. JanH Says:

    You've come so far in a short time. You'll be able to do it! We're rooting for you!

  4. boomeyers Says:

    Oh you poor thing! It's like a punch in the stomach. You think you are finally getting to the end and they pull you back to the starting line. A lot of mess to clean up from an addiction, isn't there?

  5. freeme journey Says:

    Gosh the support here is amazing - prayers are welcome anytime Smile
    Addiction is a terrible thing but I am going to win this battle. If I give up what will happen to my DD - she is adopted.
    Thanks again for the encouragement

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